Sweetpea Gal

Years ago, I was at a friend’s house and happened to spend the night. At about eight o’clock in the night, we started hearing noises from the flat on the floor below. A woman was crying bitterly. My friend wasn’t as moved as I was, I learned that bickerings from that apartment happened all the time. When I listened closely, I found out that she had just returned from work and her husband who was already home insisted that she made dinner. She was obviously tired because she also had a baby to attend.

This woman, like every other married woman I know would get up very early every morning and begin to do all she needed for her husband and their child, take the baby to the daycare center and then leave for work. After she closes, she’d first go to get the child from wherever they kept the child till she comes, as she closed very late and the daycare center would have closed for the day. When she gets home, she’d start preparing dinner for her husband. Of course, she’d still have to feed and bath their child before she goes to bed. Not to mention her personal needs. All of these I overheard while she was ranting and crying out loud.

All she wanted was for her man to understand that she is also human. The same way he goes to work is the same way she does. And even if she’s a full-time housewife, it’s the same stress they all go through. Some stay-at-home moms even do more work than working class women. Homeschooling, taking care of the husband and kids, twenty four hours a day isn’t even enough!

This woman was crying and raising her voice, saying that her husband is so wicked! If she had known, she wouldn’t have gotten married to him. This went on far into the midnight. I think her husband also hit her because she was making all those, “you’d kill me today” statements. Hmmmnn… women! I could hardly sleep. She called her mom and relatives on the phone and started reporting to them, asking them to come over.

I managed to get some sleep and was up at about five in the morning, and this woman was still crying. Whaaaaatttt! Her husband, who was trying to prove that he’s the man of the house and in control wasn’t moved by her tears. Their marriage was failing. None of them seemed to realize who the real enemy was. Both of them were in a competition to prove that the other person was wrong.

Several times, this couple were quick to take opposite positions on the “battle line.” They failed to realize that they’re on the same team. Nitpicking one another endlessly to show how the other could do it better, differently, or more like them. A lot of people are like this. It is very important to know that there is an adversary, it’s definitely not your mate. Scripture describes this adversary as roaming about like a lion waiting to devour. He is also described as a thief who is bent on robbing, killing and destroying. That is who the true enemy is, not each other.

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25. When conflicts try to arise, don’t fight your spouse, fight for your marriage. Defend it against the many schemes of the enemy. Most importantly, always walk in the spirit. It’s impossible to have constant arguments when you both walk not according to the selfish desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

Your spouse is your teammate. The enemy might try to give you reasons for you to want off your team. He may try to tell you that you’re better off with someone else. Listen, your marriage is not a war. Personal preferences are not beachheads to be conquered at all costs. Differences of opinion are not battles to be won. It’s okay to support and help each other. Listen to one another in submission and love. Let there be transparency. The best opportunity for intimacy happens when you’re fully known and fully loved. Never stop praying for and with your spouse.

Make forgiveness part of your marriage strategy. As ambassadors for Yahuah, who has reconciled us to Himself through Yahusha, the Messiah, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, 2 corinthians 5:18, we should first be an example to the world through our marriage. Marriage is something you make and have to keep on making. Wives, everyday, make it a priority that your husband comes home to a place that’s fit for a king. Husbands, everyday, make it a priority that your wife comes home to a place that’s fit for a queen. A threefold cord is not easily broken, as long as it’s you, your spouse and the most high!